The Disney live-action remake of Snow White has been mired in controversy for the past three years. From Rachel Zegler’s politically correct slamming of the 1937 animation to set photos of the seven dwarfs being reimagined as a diverse group, it wasn’t long before the blockbuster was being dubbed “Snow Woke.”

Now, as cancelled premieres scale back the film’s promotion, critics who haven’t even seen the movie have been louder and more brash than ever. Well, we have seen it, and…